It’s amazing to think Cash Warren has never really done anything bad, and yet everyone’s douche radar starts a-blazin’ every time his name is mentioned.

And so, in an effort to add some more fuel to the fire, here’s another fabulous Crazy Days & Nights blind item certain to get Jessica Alba’s pregger granny panties in a bunch.

This is the funniest one I have ever got from the accountant. This celebutard is engaged to a B list film actress with A+ name recognition. He spent $34,000 on porn last year, and tried to claim it as a deduction for business purposes. He had each and every receipt for all the porn. All of it. He claimed that he needed it to see the proper way to act in a love scene. When the accountant reminded him he wasn’t even an actor, our celebutard said something to the effect of, “I’ve got my girlfriend believing I’m the best guy in the world. I’m a great actor.” They chose not to try and deduct the porn.

Ugh, and to think he gets to stick his penis inside her!

And to help ease your pain, here is Jessica Alba photo spread in the June 2008 issue of Allure Magazine.

Photos of Cash and Jess shopping over the weekend in 3…2…1…