Jessica Alba gave birth to a baby girl Saturday at Cedars-Sinai. Naturally, Alba named her Honor Marie Warren.

They just moved into a $4 million Beverly Hills home with their three dogs.

“It’s a lot of stress to buy a house, have a baby and get married in six months,” she recently told USA Weekend. “It’s a lot of life-changing decisions. I’m really, really secure and happy in my relationship.”

How sad. I was born at the wrong time and the wrong place. If I was born at Cedars-Sinai on Saturday too, I could have switched myself with Honor and I would have been the one gnawing on Jessica’s nipples. That lucky duck.

Seeing Sharon Stone’s 50-year-old breasts reminds me of when I was in college and me and a group of friends would pay a visit to our local porn shop and rent movies that we’d watch collectively as a group. Not to get off, but to laugh our asses off. “Clown F^ckers” has got to be one of the weirdest ones we ever saw.

But one of the worst pornos I ever saw on the store shelves was an entire section dedicated to senior citizens getting it on. Every time I think about it I shudder. What kind of person gets off watching an old smelly nutsack and saggy tits getting it on? But I guess if you were in porn your entire life that was bound to happen. It’s not like they were going to join their local church and start prayer groups.

Which brings me to my point. I’m all for female empowerment, and I believe 40 is the new 30, but shouldn’t there be a point when over-the-hill woman should put their tits away? I mean, I have a pretty filthy mouth, but I barely show any cleavage now and I’m only 25.

And it’s not just about the tits. A couple months ago Sharon showed up at a Make-A-Wish ball wearing no underwear and showing her landing strip. Ta-cky!

Here’s Sharon Stone at some press event in Beverly Hills yesterday.

Tom Cruise has a nice house

Tom Cruise’s 10,000+ square foot mansion in Beverly Hills. The actor purchased the home in April of last year for $30.5 million.

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

Jessica Alba and her husband Cash Warren have welcomed a baby girl, her rep confirms to Joynews.

Honor Marie Warren was born Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles.

Alba’s father was overheard saying “she’s beautiful.” Warren — in a T-shirt, jeans and baseball cap — was spotted carrying food into the maternity ward Sunday.

Alba, 26, and Warren, 28, announced they were expecting last December. (See more surprise pregnancies here.)

During her pregnancy, Alba admitted, “anything could make me incredibly angry or break down crying. That’s not something I’m used to.”

Her one fear about mommyhood: Breastfeeding.

She told Extra she had a dream, and “it had to do with breastfeeding, which is the only thing I’m paranoid about. More than giving birth.”

She and Warren got engaged after announcing their baby news.

They quietly wed in the Beverly Hills courthouse’s ceremony room on May 19.

They just moved into a $4 million Beverly Hills home with their three dogs.

“It’s a lot of stress to buy a house, have a baby and get married in six months,” she recently told USA Weekend. “It’s a lot of life-changing decisions. I’m really, really secure and happy in my relationship

It’s been too long since we’ve seen Ice-T’s girlfriends tits. And now here they are, in all their splendor. It’s like Jesus heard my cries and sent me an angel. An angel with big tits and STDs. Awesome.

Seen last night at the Hollywood Black Film Festival “Two Turntables And A Microphone” in Beverly Hills, here is overstuffed model Nicole CoCo Austin and her P.I.M.P., Mr. Ice-T himself.

How does she manage to sleep at night? There’s no way to make the entire night just sleeping on your back, is there? I mean, there’s no way she sleeps on her belly. Surely her melons would get in the way.

Christina Milian was at the 56th Annual BMI Pop Awards in Beverly Hills. This function was held on Tuesday night, on May 20, 2008. Christina wore a nice blue dress. She showed off her sexy legs and pretty feet in her strappy heels. This was a special night for the band members called Hall & Oats because they received the BMI Icons award. They were praised for influencing a new generation of music makers.

Jessica Alba is officially off the market.

Mom-to-be Jessica Alba and Cash Warren have gotten married, People confirms. The couple quietly wed Monday, says her rep, Brad Cafarelli.

According to a source, they were married in the Beverly Hills courthouse’s ceremony room under an arch of green silk foliage and white flowers. They were casually dressed, with Alba wearing a long blue dress and her hair back in a ponytail.

“She looked happy but nervous,” the source says.

Warren, in a white shirt and brown pants, arrived with Alba at about 11:30 a.m. on Monday, applied for a marriage license and waited about 40 minutes for the paperwork to be processed before a staff member from the courthouse married them, the source says.

Nobody else attended the wedding, the source adds.

Positive for herpes, knocked-up, and now married to a porn-addicted douche before she could pop out a bastard child. Wow, Jessica Alba’s life has turned out fabulously.

Here are some photos of Jessica before the shit really hit the fan. Boy was she absolutely delicious. Hopefully she can maintain it post-baby. Enjoy the pics!

When will she realize she’s not Marilyn Monroe? She looks like a damn fool in that dress.

Just take it off and show us your tits!

Here’s Hugh Hefner’s #1 girl, Holly Madison, at the 3rd Annual UHI Celebrity Poker Tournament in Beverly Hills Saturday.

Nothing against the 818, says the star of TV’s “Ugly Betty,” who grew up in Woodland Hills and attended El Camino Real High School, but she had plans.

“The Valley reminds me of my childhood,” says Ferrera, who appears in the just-released film “Under the Same Moon.”

“I had a really rough time through high school. I don’t think I liked myself very much. High school is a very hard place to like yourself. It’s easier for some people, but it wasn’t very easy for me.”

Ferrera chalks up her troublesome high-school years, in part, to a rare single-mindedness of purpose about who she was and what she wanted to do.

Simply put, long before she entered her teens, Ferrera knew she wanted to go to college and she wanted to act, not necessarily in that order. When people asked about her backup plans, Ferrera would shake her head.

“I’m very much in awe of how young children have such bravery to dream so big. They just don’t question it,” she says. “I never questioned it. I used to lie in bed and say, `I don’t know how I’m going to get there. I just know I’m going to.’ I was, like, 10 and thinking, `What is taking so long? Why has my life not started?’ ”

Times have indeed changed. The woman who utters these words from the terrace of a Beverly Hills hotel is a USC graduate with a degree in international relations. She’s also an Emmy, Screen Actors Guild and Golden Globe Award winner. In its two seasons, the telenovela-inspired sitcom “Ugly Betty” has become something of an international phenomenon.

Ferrera turns 24 in April, and she’s still asking questions. The last two years have been prosperous and fulfilling, and they have also made the actress look inward.

“There is no possible way someone standing on the outside could know what I’ve been through in my life,” says Ferrera. “Sure, it looks like a Cinderella ball. It’s an amazing show, and the fame and the awards and recognition, but those are just the side effects of what, for me, is truly fulfilling. I work really hard for something I’m really proud of.

“There’s kind of a calm about it for me,” she continues. “There are so many ways to become frightened of your own success. It’s a big learning lesson in questioning why do I do this and what is it for? And what do I want out of it?”

She is equally even-keeled when the topic of being a role model is broached. “Ugly Betty” has been embraced by the gay community and Latinos alike. Women - and their young daughters - have lauded the notion of a TV heroine who isn’t a size 0 and who doesn’t have the snappiest taste in fashion.

Ferrera, though, has stopped reading message boards and blog notices. She’s grateful and gracious to fans who embrace underdog Betty’s struggle as their own, but there’s a limit to how much of a crusader Ferrera is willing to be.

“I don’t make every decision in my life based on, `Am I doing what’s right for the Latino community? Am I doing what’s right for young women everywhere? Am I doing what’s right for curvy girls in Hollywood?’ I don’t want to be responsible for that,” she says. “I want to do what’s right for me, and I think that’s what everyone should do.”

Outside of “Betty,” Ferrera has kept plenty busy. In addition to “Under the Same Moon,” she appears in the just released Spanish-language hostage drama “Toward the Darkness,” which she also produced and which began as a friend’s short film while Ferrera was at USC.

Last summer, she filmed the sequel to “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants,” based on the Ann Brashares novels, with fellow “Pants” alums Alexis Bledel, Amber Tamblyn and Blake Lively. She also spent part of the summer campaigning for Sen. Hillary Clinton’s presidential bid.

No, she doesn’t expect voters will blindly follow Betty Suarez to the polls, but as Ferrera notes, “I’m lucky enough that when I talk, maybe a few cameras will follow me.”

“I’ve done the work and educated myself, and I’ve been very active in this election because I think everyone should be,” she says. “If cameras weren’t following me, I’d probably still be involved in this election. Nobody would care, but I would still be trying to do what I could to bring attention to the candidate I believe in.”

She recently went back to the set of “Ugly Betty,” which returns to ABC on April 24. In the first original episode since the conclusion of the Writers Guild of America strike, misfit fashion magazine secretary Betty Suarez will celebrate a birthday.

“I don’t really know what else is going on in Betty’s life,” Ferrera says. “That’s one of the reasons I’m anxious to get back.”

Ferrera basically has a cameo in “Under the Same Moon,” playing a non-Spanish-speaking American who tries to earn money for her brother’s college tuition by smuggling Mexican babies over the U.S. border. Ferrera’s character, Marta, ends up transporting 9-year-old Carlitos (played by Adrian Alonso), whose quest to track down his mother in Los Angeles is at the heart of the film.

Ferrera received the script when it was titled “Immigrant Boy.” Put off by the title, she tried - unsuccessfully - to use the script as a sleep aid.

“I thought I’d be asleep by page 4. It usually works,” she recalls. “Of course, at 2 a.m., I’m on the last page, crying. I just really connected to it on a very human level. I just thought it was a perfect way to get a human connection to what immigration is all about.

“Yes, it’s deemed a crime and it’s illegal,” she adds, “but to call this 9-year-old boy who wants to be with his mother a criminal, something about that seems not complete.”

She filmed her part in May 2006, shortly after the premiere of the “Ugly Betty” pilot. Ferrera was far less well-known then, although “Same Moon” director Patricia Riggen knew the actress’ work from her 2002 debut film, “Real Women Have Curves.”

“Basically, I felt that she was the only one I could have who would represent that generation of Latinos,” says Riggen.

“In the movie, the characters show us that the struggle doesn’t end for Latinos when they get a passport. (Ferrera’s) character was doing something not good for a good reason, which makes her very human.”

Riggen sees Ferrera as “one of those actors that are going to always do challenging stuff and not stay with easy or sweet roles.”

Ferrera agrees.

“There is so much growth in my work that needs to be done,” she says. “I need to live more so I have more to bring to my life.”

Meagan Good was captured in a candid moment in Beverly Hills. She has joined the cast of Saw V. This was the series of horror films that had the masochistic killer torture his victims. The victims were made to examine their consciences and understand what their sins were and why they were punished for their crimes.The Saw movies had some of the worst, gory scenes ever seen in movies. Some people enjoyed the thrill, some hated it. If you enjoyed the previous instalments, you would certainly like Saw V.