Sexy Puerto Rican actress Nadine Velazquez is currently featured in the August issue of Maxim Magazine.

In the magazine the actress confesses, “Comparing Jaime Pressley and me is like comparing two beautiful flowers: we’re both very hot, just in different ways.”

There is nothing sexier about a person then confidence, not to be mistaken with cockiness. Call me biased, but these Latinas (i.e., Eva Mendes, Salma Hayek, Roselyn Sanchez) don’t even have to try to be sexy.  They just are.

More sexiness after the cut

Here are some shots of former Danish-Peruvian supermodel Helena Christensen hanging out with her boyfriend, Interpol frontman Paul Banks, poolside at a hotel in Miami over the weekend.

I applaud her for not rushing to the surgeon at the first signs of aging, but still it pains me to see what has become of the model who once made us drool in our pants watching her frolick topless with Chris Isaak in the video for “Wicked Games.”  Seriously, that’s one hell of a beer gut she’s sporting there.

At least she gave us a peak of her nipple while working on her tan.  Nothing like a nipple slip for us to quickly forgive and forget the imperfections.

More photos after the jump!

Kim Kardashian and her thunder thighs made another appearance in a bikini earlier last week.

At this point I really could care less about her ass.  It’s big, we get it.  What I really want to know is who the hell told Kim that she would look sexy in that bathing suit?

Some outfits were meant to be left on the runway, especially if the outfits already look terrible enough on the stick figure models.  Extra meat isn’t going to correct how hideous the outfit may be.

Kim isn’t fat, but she’s hella fluffy.  And me, I don’t much care for the fluff.  I like my abs tight and my thighs sculpted.  Most of all I like my hos in regular bikinis.

Love or or hate her, all of you keep taking time out of your lives to write about her.  In other words, with each key you type homegirl is getting richer while you blow through another five minutes of your life giving Kim Kardashian attention.

For more Kim, click here and scope out her gallery.

More photos after the jump!

That c^nt Katherine Heigl is on vacation with her husband in Cancun this week. People talk about Kim Kardashian’s ass but at least she’s got an ass!!  This broad’s ass is five years away from looking like THIS hot skank.  I’m not saying she’s fat… I’m just saying I wouldn’t hit that.

More photos after the jump!

If I’m ever flying and my plane should fall from the sky, I beg that heaven blesses me with an angel like Gemma Atkinson.

Her funbags would helps us rise to the water’s surface towards heaven, where I’d be surrounded by half naked angels begging for a tongue lashings.

A pearl necklace around a woman’s neck is nothing more than an invitation for trouble. And a woman like Gemma Atkinson loves getting herself in trouble. Why she’s the kind of woman who will gently run the pearls through her fingers, all the while giving you a stare that says, “I’ll do whatever you like.” And boy does she mean it.

NSFM images after the jump!

Here is Gemma Atkinson doing her best at keeping us warm from the beaches of Australia.

There’s just one problem:  Fur pie.

Aside from morning sex, there’s nothing more satisfying than a quick morning jerk. It really gets the blood flowing. And what a better pair of juggs to spank your monkey to than those of UK glamour model Gemma Atkinson. Start the day right, squeeze one out before your girl wakes up… or your boss walks in.

A very perky Gemma Atkinson was photographed in a blue bikini while on vacation earlier this week.  I sometimes envy Gemma and the life she leads.

She’s not as thin as the average supermodel, and her face isn’t as hot as them either, but she somehow has made a career big enough to have the paparazzi photograph her while at the beach.

Lesson learned: It pays to have big tits.

UK model Danielle Lloyd showed off her trimmed down figure while on vacation in Dubai yesterday.

The 24-year-old lingerie model shed weight after singing on and training for Celebrity Gladiator.

The former Miss Great Britain said: “I was so excited when I was asked to do the show.

“I remember watching Gladiators every Saturday night when I was a kid. I never thought that one day I would be a contender myself.”

“I thought I was fit until I started training, but after the first day, every muscle in my body was aching.”

She recently insured her body for £2million, claiming “my figure is my fortune.”

Damn, £2million is whole lotta cash.  Kinda makes you wonder what Kim Kardashian has insured her ginormous ass for?  It probably depreciates every time a new man dumps his load inside it.  Nobody wants used goods!