Celebrities are known to get lots of free stuff, not just in swag bags at events but generally they are sent things for free. The theory is that the celebrity will be seen wearing an item which will generate demand for the brand.

I’ve seen some clothes that I would love to have gracing my wardrobe, but I have never been so envious as I am of Hugh Laurie’s celebrity perk.

Laurie - a human being so lovely and bright that, in a troubled world, merely uttering his name feels like saying a prayer - has been displaying superlative, ground-level analysis of the swings-and-roundabouts nature of fame. “[Being famous means that] you can get a table in a restaurant,” he muses. “But then you’ve got to go past a line of people who can’t get a table - and that’s a bad feeling.” But he goes on inadvertently to blow the lid off what will, surely, become one of the big media talking-points of the year. “I’ve [been given] a Burger King Gold Card,” he said casually.

The Burger King Gold Card entitles you, says The Times, to free burgers for life.

I love Burger King. I hold them entirely responsible for my pregnancy weight gain, despite the fact that I was the one shoveling it into my mouth at the time. For once I am green with envy.

The Times comments that this will be the ‘new high water mark of celebrity and power’, and that they also mention that Jay Leno has one. I guess this would actually be something that we common folk could envy, because I think just about everyone has eaten fast food. The previous ‘item to have’ was the American Express black card, which was used frequently by Jessica Simpson on Newlyweds where she commented that they had a limit on how many people could have one.

This puts my McDonald’s drive thru sticker to shame.

Hugh Laurie is shown scruffy and making a cute face at the Prism awards on 4/24/08, thanks to WENN.

One thing Tatum O’Neal doesn’t have to worry about as she waits to learn how the courts will handle her recent arrest for buying crack cocaine: One way or another, she’ll be welcomed back to her FX “Rescue Me” series with open arms.

Reveals Denis Leary, the creator/star of the drama in which O’Neal plays his character’s sex-crazed sister, “Tatum shot a couple of episodes before her recent trouble, and she has a lot of other segments she’ll do — it doesn’t matter to me when and how she comes back. I love her.  She’s great.”

Leary happens to think that the actress with a long history of drug problems “is actually handling things well this time.  I’ve spoken to her about the situation and I think it was a temporary lapse. I see it as saving grace.  She got caught up in a police bust and that kept her from doing whatever damage she would have done to herself. (had she used  the drugs) It was, as I see it, a lucky break for her.”

Denis wants us to know that the actress, who earned an Oscar at age 10 for “Paper Moon,” has, during the last few years, been in great shape physically and emotionally and I think the best work is in front of her.”

MEANWHILE: Speaking of best work, Leary’s outstanding work in “Rescue Me” has him considered a front runner again for an Emmy. Thus far he’s garnered two nominations for his acting in the series and one each for writing and directing segments of the  show but has yet to bring home Emmy gold.

Being an Emmy bridesmaid, so to speak, doesn’t bother him.  He says “I’m just thankful I’ve been invited to the prom, There is so much outstanding talent for the Academy to choose from, it awes me just to earn an nomination.”

Besides those with whom he’s been in contention for lead actor honors (James Spader, Kiefer Sutherland, Hugh Laurie and James Gandolfini), Denis notes there is a lineup of actors in new series he feels deserve to be in the Emmy race.  They include Jon Hamm of “Mad Men” and Bryan Cranston of “Breaking Bad.”

“How do you decide,” he asks, “between so much talent?  If I was them would take the top 10 guys and give them all Emmys and then have a little party.”

SOMETHING NEW: “Law & Order: SVU” executive producer Neal Baer reports, “We’re bringing in a new assistant DA character, a woman.  I don’t know who’s going to play her yet, but I know what her background is.  She’s in the process of getting a divorce, coming back to New York City to take a job after living in D.C.  In the job she had previously, doing policy work on women’s issues, she felt she was always involved with statistics and she wanted to be out working with people.”

The new character replaces Diane Neal’s Casey Novack.  “She played the part for five years – the longest ADA of any (Dick) Wolf show – and she wanted to go out and do new things.  She’s really funny and she’d like to do comedy,” says Baer.

Mariska Hargitay and Chris Meloni “work probably every day.  Everyone else is  back,” notes Baer, who also informs that the writers are nine scripts into next season’s shows already, with a mid-July production start, barring a strike.

And…speaking of Emmy nominations…”L&O:SVU” has been so loaded with stellar guest star performances, the show’s For Your Consideration trade ads have included double page spreads, with names including Rhea Perlman, Cynthia Nixon, Aidan Quinn, Bill Pullman, Melissa Joan Hart, Erika Christensen, Stephen Collins and Robin Williams, the latter of whom went evil to play a sick sort who poses as a police officer in order to trick other people into committing crimes in the show’s 200th episode.  “We were thrilled to have him…We always pride ourselves on getting really wonderful actors, and this was an amazing year.”

ANOTHER ZIP CODE HEARD FROM: We reported the other day that Jason Priestley may helm an episode of the planned CW network redo of “Beverly Hills, 90210,” but whether he’ll show up on camera remains to be seen.  Now we can tell you what his one-time co-heartthrob, Luke Perry, has to say on the subject.  “I wish ‘em the best of luck on that, best of success to everybody.

They haven’t asked me and I haven’t thought about doing anything on it.  I’ve been kind of busy.”  Perry’s next TV offering is the Hallmark Channel western “The Pledge,” airing in July.