Lindsay Lohan hopes to turn her life around with her new movie, Labor Pains, about a young woman (Lindsay) who pretends to be pregnant so she doesn’t get fired. Now Lindsay is one step closer to realizing her dream as she has found someone to insure, albeit with a lot of vouching from the film’s producer, Rick Schwartz. Rush & Molloy call the script hilarious and exclaim that this could bring Lindsay’s career back on track.

According to the screenplay we’ve obtained, Lohan plays a young woman who pretends to be pregnant so she doesn’t get fired. She thrives on the attention she’s getting despite “carrying a volleyball around on her stomach.” We don’t want to be spoilers, but the script is hilarious.

The movie will be made whether or not there’s an actors strike, since the union gave Schwartz a waiver, Variety reported.

Lindsay was never that great of an actress. She’s not some fallen star who has a chance at a great comeback. The one decent movie she was in was Mean Girls and that movie sucked. After that, it was all downhill. Herbie, I Know Who Killed Me, Georgia Rules. Lindsay’s body of work belongs more in sadomasochistic rituals than in AFI’s top 100.

Don’t even ask me what she’s doing with Dennis Hopper either. I have no clue.

Wearing her signature leggings, Lindsay Lohan walked around flashing her stomach while puffing on a ciggy on the set of “Labor Pains” earlier this week.

I’m not calling Lindsay fat, I’m just saying I’m unimpressed.  When I look at women like Angelina Jolie and Salma Hayek (post baby) I think to myself, ‘God I wish I could look like them!’  And while it may be true that Lindsay is skinny, she’s not toned or shapely or attractive.  She’s just sort of there.

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More photos after the jump!

LOS ANGELES, Calif. — Your Daily Dispatch of Celebrity Shenanigans

Lindsay & Samantha Still Gal Pals: After reportedly having a tiff at LA sushi hotspot, Katsuya, Lindsay Lohan and DJ Samantha Ronson were spotted on the set of Lindsay’s new film, “Labor Pains,” hugging and laughing with each other, Us Weekly reports. What can’t their friendship endure?

Lindsay’s Visa Campaign: Besides films and Samantha-time, Lindsay is busy fronting Visa’s Swap fashion event, which encourages people in the UK “to swap their unwanted clothes at the world’s biggest and most popular fashion swapping event,” according to Visa. “I am so excited to be involved with this year’s Visa Swap event,” Lindsay said in a statement. “The concept of swapping clothes, getting something for nothing and refreshing your wardrobe appeals to everyone.” No word on who the actress will swap clothes with, but we’re guessing anyone with a fur coat won’t be going anywhere near Lindsay.

The Bro Show: If you thought the cast of “The Hills” was going away anytime soon, think again! Brody Jenner, LC’s sometimes boyfriend, has landed his own show, Us Weekly reports. “Bromance” will pit “regular” guy against one another competing to be Brody’s best bro. Bro hopefuls who don’t measure up will be sent home in a “hot tub elimination ceremony.” Will the shamed, dripping wet, not-cool-enough-for-Brody runner-up get his own show called, “The Bro-chelor?”

‘The O.C.:The Movie’?– Not For Bilson: It appears sometimes you can’t always go home, at least for Seth, Ryan, Marissa and Summer. When asked about a potential big screen treatment for television’s “The O.C.,” Rachel Bilson told Moviefone.com, “No. I had somebody else ask me that because of ‘Sex and The City’ the movie, but I was like, ‘No.’ I’d watch ‘Curb Your Enthusiasm: The Movie’, though!”

Possible Madonna Tour Designer: Design duo Heatherette, who have styled Gwen Stefani, Pamela Anderson, Mya, Kelis, Pink and Paris Hilton, could be working their magic on the material girl, MTV News reports. “Her publicist, just contacted us and said that she wants us to come up with some sketches, some ideas and some inspirations for her tour,” one half of the design team, Richie Rich told MTV. “She already did the cowboy hat, so we’ll need to think of something else.” Bring back the cones!

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Lindsay Lohan Pregnant - In Next Film: Lindsay will be strapping on a faux baby bump for her upcoming project, “Labor Pains,” Variety reports. The actress will reportedly play an assistant at a publishing house who fakes a pregnancy to avoid getting fired. Let’s hope life doesn’t start imitating art on the set of this film.

Brad’s Artful Purchase: What do you get Angelina Jolie for her birthday? If you’re Brad Pitt, apparently more than $50,000 worth of art. Brad was spotted shopping at Switzerland’s Art Basel fair Tuesday, Us Weekly reports. He reportedly bought two bronze chairs designed by Max Lamb, each costing $25,000. Soon the couple will have six kids and only two bronze chairs. Everyone at the Pitt-Jolie house better know how to share.

Sharon Stone’s Second Apology: Maybe no one heard her the first time or maybe people were still too upset to listen, but Sharon Stone is apologizing for her remarks about the China earthquake for a second time, People reports. “There have been numerous reports about what I said in Cannes,” the actress said in a statement Wednesday. “I would like to set the record straight about what I feel in my heart and end all of the misunderstandings. Yes, I misspoke. I could not be more regretful of that mistake. It was unintentional. I apologize, those words were never meant to be hurtful to anyone, they were an accident of my distraction and a product of news sensationalism. I am deeply saddened by the pain that this whole situation has caused the victims of the devastating earthquake in China.”

Audrina To Heidi: Don’t Get Married Yet!: “Hills” star Audrina Patridge thinks Heidi Montag needs to chill out her inner-bridezilla and think twice about rushing down the aisle with boyfriend and manager Spencer Pratt, Us Weekly reports. “I think she’s still young, and I just feel like she shouldn’t get married right away,” she told the mag at the Dodge Challenger Celebrity Drag Race in Rosamond, California, on Tuesday. “They should be together and see if they can actually live together for a year without fighting. Once you are married…you’re married.” And yet another nugget of wisdom from “The Hills” cast.

Audrina & Lauren Still Friends?: In more “Hills” news, and not to spoil any of the upcoming cat fights when the MTV show returns for another season this summer, but when Audrina was asked if she was still friends with her roommate Lauren Conrad, she told Us Weekly, “Ummm….yeah.” And Audrina hopes to be an actress?!? She better work on ability to tell a more convincing lie. Bring on the semi-scripted reality show drama!

With the luster of Lindsay Lohan’s stardom dimmed – a lot – due to her record of hard partying, legal woes, drug trouble and flops, Lohan watchers are speculating over her chances of post-rehab redemption via her “Ugly Betty” arc that starts Thursday night (5/22).

She won’t be sitting idly by wondering, that’s for sure.  In fact, the whirl that is Lindsay’s world is spinning as fast as ever.  She’s currently prepping for “Labor Pains,” which has been set for a June 2 start date — the day after she’s to present at the MTV MovieAwards.   That’s the big-screen comedy in which she’ll play a girl so desperate not to get fired from her job, she falsely claims to be pregnant – then finds herself getting special treatment and sympathy.

On the heels of wrapping “Labor Pains,” Lindsay – who turns 22 on July 2 – is due to head to New York, barring an actors’ strike, for the start of next season’s “Ugly Betty,” in which she’s to appear in five episodes as a mean girl from high school who resurfaces in Betty’s (America Ferrera) life.

She’s also readying her much-discussed third album to debut in early fall.

Meanwhile, a casting notice has gone out for the role of Nancy Pitman in Matthew Bright’s “The Manson Girls,” the film detailing the murderous Charles Manson cult story through the eyes of his female followers — to which Lohan was attached. Nikki Finke’s Deadline Hollywood recently reported that Lindsay had been dropped from the project because other actors didn’t want to work with her – to which Lindsay’s rep quickly responded that her departure was due to scheduling conflicts.

Whatever —  the fact that producers are still hiring Lindsay brings to mind an observation made by comedic icon Bob Newhart years ago, that oftentimes, those who survive in this business are those whose talent exceeds their need to self destruct.

THE VIDEOLAND VIEW: Supermodel Beverly Johnson, who is making a television comeback, is comparing herself to Paula Abdul.  Given the sometimes-bizarre antics of Abdul, you certainly don’t hear that said too often, but Johnson is referring to her use of positive comments when it comes to judging contestants.  Johnson herself is a judge on the new original series, “She’s Got the Look,” premiering June 4 on TV Land.   “I was trying to call myself the Paula Abdul because I love her.  I love her as a person, and I consider myself a real nice person.  However, I don’t know if I was so nice,” admits Johnson of her behavior on the show, which sets out to discover a woman 35 or older to become the next great supermodel-of-a-certain-age.  ”I hope I didn’t come off too mean.  I think I was fair.  I was honest and I wanted to move them along to their dreams, but criticism, no matter how you give it, stings.”

Johnson, who was the first African-American model to appear on the cover of American Vogue, tells us she certainly had plenty to say.  ”I don’t know if I was supposed to or not, but I interjected whenever I got the chance.  I knew what it was like to leave your kids when you have to go away to work.  Plus, there was a sense of urgency because at this age they want to put this career in forward motion.”

As for Johnson’s career, she says she’s put in the long hours and now she’s focusing more of her attention on golf.  ”I built my dream home on a golf course.  This was all before I knew I was going back into show business.  I recently played in the LPGA Pro-Am tournament.  I missed the cup by one, but I was so excited to be on ESPN.”

CORONATION EQUATION: Derek Luke says working with one of his icons, Spike Lee, on the upcoming “Miracle at St. Anna’s” constituted a high mark in his career.  “In New York, Spike has this group of people that he always works with and now I can say I was amongst that group. It’s almost like being crowned being part of that.  I went in with no type of thought of what it should be, but I left with a proudness, you know what I’m saying?  It was a blessing to work with Spike.”  He notes, “I was always a fan. He had to be one of the first influences on my life as a filmmaker. His films really touched me.”  Luke co-stars with Laz Alonso, Michael Ealy and John Turturro in the film about four African-American GIs stuck behind enemy lines in Italy during WW II.

FREE LOVE AND HARD RAIN: Quite a casting job for the forces working on Ang Lee’s planned “Taking Woodstock” feature – it has 54 roles.  The adaptation of Elliot Tiber’s “Taking Woodstock: A True Story of a Riot, a Concert, and a Life” details how Tiber, described as a lonely gay Jewish man who managed a Catskills mountains hotel, wound up becoming a pivotal player in the making of the legendary 1969 Woodstock music festival.