Mario Lopez, who by some misguided soul at People Magazine just got named their bachelor of the year, says that he would be with Eva Longoria now if they’d ever been single at the same time.

Lopez says, “We never dated. Unfortunately. We met a long time ago, and she was always with somebody or I was with somebody. But we hit it off and I have the utmost respect for her.

“Tony Parker is a lucky guy. I was in (sic) her wedding. I walked her mum down the aisle.”

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Now Mario, it might have been that even if you had dated Eva, she still would have met and fallen madly in love with Tony Parker, who happens to be a lot more loaded that you are.

Of course, what also might have happened is you might have split up because you’ve been f***ing a Hooters waitress. Or a singer. Or a wannabe singer that works at Hooters. Which is how his relationship with Dancing with the Stars partner Karina Smirnoff ended.

Or, you might have split up with her two weeks into your marriage, after cheating on her during the week leading up to your wedding. Which is how his marriage to Ali Laundry ended.

This, according to People Magazine, is the best that the male population has to offer. Mario tells the magazine that he is looking for a woman who is ‘modest’, not ‘uppity or affluent’. I think this means he’s looking for a woman who doesn’t stick up for herself and doesn’t publicly call him out on his philandering.

Mario Lopez is shown promoting his fitness book, Mario Lopez’s Knockout Fitness, on 5/15/08 and on Broadway before appearing in A Chorus Line on 6/5/08, thanks to WENN. He is with Eva Longoria in that stunt they pulled for “Pop Fiction” in which he gave her a necklace in front of the paparazzi in March.

• Hayden Panettiere, cuddling with boyfriend Milo Ventimiglia at the sushi bar inside Shima in Venice, Calif. The happy couple strolled in, holding hands and beaming before taking their place at the bar. Panettiere sipped tea while her beau ordered them some rolls. And a fellow diner tells us that she kissed his hands and arms while they waited for their food.

• Following his monumental appearance at a San Francisco Macy’s, David Beckham headed to lunch at One Market with his entire family in tow. A restaurant manager tells us that the family required no special treatment or private room and was “very easy.” Poshdined on Dungeness crab and greens, while others at the table had Mahi Mahi. And while no paparazzi trailed the Beckham clan, word spread that they were dining – and many San Franciscans turned up to get a peek at Emporio Armani’s sexy underwear model.

• Was he basking in the honor of being named PEOPLE’s Hottest Bachelor? Mario Lopez was spotted enjoying the company of three female friends over a dinner of tuna tartare, sushi and Chardonnay at Blue Fin in New York.

• Giselle Bündchen, taking a girls’ night out at Santa Monica’s Il Ristorante di Giorgio Baldi. Sitting on the front patio, the supermodel laughed it up with her pals, and Bündchen paid special attention to her friend’s baby, who was dining with the group.

• Eli and Peyton Manning, pulling up in a limo with their entire family – their wives, mother and father – at Bagatelle in New York. The weather was rainy, so Peyton rolled down his window and called for a host to meet the family with an umbrella. Once inside (and dry), the Manning clan munched on elbow pasta with truffles and was super friendly to staff.

We first met People Magazine’s Hottest Bachelor when he played good-guy A.C. Slater on Saved by the Bell. He’s since moved on to Dancing with the Stars and is now co-host of Extra’s weekend edition and star of Broadway’s A Chorus Line. Still, Lopez, 34 – here recreating Mark Wahlberg’s famous “Marky Mark” pose – says he wasn’t always so fit: “I was a fat, fat baby. I looked like a sumo wrestler. My mom had to pull the fat folds apart when she bathed me!”

In case you didn’t know, A.C. Slater has a new fitness book out. And what better way to promote your new fitness book than flaunting your muscles at the beach with your girlfriend in tow.

Personally, I don’t like men with that much muscle. It’s like spooning with a hard-as-plastic Ken doll. I like my men fluffy and with big d*cks. Because ultimately, having a quality d*ck is all that really matters.

Karina Smirnoff isn’t my type either, I’d bury my tongue in her all the same.

What do you say, does Karina do it for you?

Dancing With the Stars pro Karina Smirnoff denies she has split from Mario Lopez. “We’re going on strong,” she told PEOPLE on Tuesday. “As much as I love and appreciate the attention, this isn’t true.” She adds: “For the record, I am not moving out. Everything is great.” In her production trailer was a bouquet of roses. “These roses are from (Lopez) and they certainly are not a farewell gift,” she says.

The pair, who met during Dancing’s third season, never publicly acknowledged their relationship — until now — despite the fact that they were living together in Lopez’s Los Angeles home.

A source had said Smirnoff was moving out of Lopez’s digs. Smirnoff also was spotted recently with E! Entertainment personality Michael Yo. The two were seen dancing at a recent event at Hollywood eatery Beso.

“Michael and I have known each for a long time, and there’s nothing romantic whatsoever,” Smirnoff says. “He’s a great guy and I really respect him, but we’re just friends.”